i permit you to call me
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
