I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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