I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
