apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
