Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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