I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
