idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Randomize
