I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
