I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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