You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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