Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
i now understand why vodka
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
