Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
