SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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