just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
