allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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