hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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