Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
