I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize