god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
