a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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