her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
