ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
