woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
