Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Randomize
