no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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