We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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