You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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