I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
