Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
