It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
