Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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