i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
