I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize