Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
