I wannas sexs uuuuu
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
