My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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