I would go down on you faster than GM stock
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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