I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
