And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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