just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Randomize
