yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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