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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
