Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
