then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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