She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
