Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
