sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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