he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
