he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
