dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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