i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
