just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
