I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
