hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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