It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
