Me too!
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
