I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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