Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
