I could have mohawked her pubes.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
