"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
So I just went to clothing optional bar
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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