Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
