Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
