He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize