You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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