At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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