I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize