Well apparently he's into motor boating.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
