he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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