it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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