She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
This is the high leading the old right now
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
