He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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