If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize