dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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